I don’t know about you, but I make a fool out of myself when I am talking to my cat roommates or my dog friends/adopted children. Let’s just get that out of the way right now.
So, I was doing the total baby waybee talk to Tetone (pumpkin colored kitty #1) and he looked at me like “Listen lady, you know I’m a fucking adult right?” and I thought, “OH MU GOD! Tetone is an adult!? oh my god he’s an adult!” I’m not kidding, it totally threw me for a loopdee. I was totally rethinking my entire existence. Do the dogs feel the same?
So, I go to Bow Peep (tiny lady dog) and I say to her, “Are you cute and small my tiny lady dog?!” in the most chipmunk voice that I can possibly muster and she looks at me as if to say “OH HELL YEAH I’M THE TINY LADY DOG…AND YOUR MY BIG HAIRLESS MOMMY! I love you love you love you!!!” (I could have done without the hairless part, that’s sounds almost as bad as “Sasquatch” coming from a dog.)
The cat and dog stereotypes seem to be alive and well in our household.
Tetone does do this thing when I am going to sleep where he gets up on my chest and he looks into my soul (like he’s going to tear my face open and get into my body via my face hole). Then he rubs his forehead as hard as he can, right down my chin and then plops over purring. It’s dicy there for a couple seconds, I’m not gonna lie. He has not murdered me yet…though he has shit in my shoes. Whadayagonnado?
Psychosomatically Challenged 